Up close with Cape Town-based author Qarnita Loxton
At Qarnita Loxton Being Diana, launching in 2021, is the fourth book in a series about the lives of four feisty friends (Kari, Lily, Shelley and Dianne) – the stories of their loves and losses, and how they support each other when the rubber hits the road. It reminds sex and the city – give that same healthy dose of feel-good endorphins that comes with a group of women who are there for each other through thick and thin.
In Being Diana, Dianne struggles to manage her relationship with her daughters, especially the eldest, Kate, who has withdrawn and seems to be keeping a secret. Dianne’s first post-divorce relationship fell apart. She meets a younger woman, Faye, on Tinder. The tricky thing is that the only people who know Dianne is bisexual are her friends in the awesome foursome band. And while Faye seems to be planning the wedding cake in her head, Dianne, on the other hand, is far from ready to commit.
the To be series started by Being Kari, which was released in 2017, a year after Loxton’s mother died. “It was a bit of a midlife crisis. I was a lawyer and when I had my first son, I quit my job to become a consultant. I found that I needed more – something stimulating and creative. I took an online creative writing course and it opened my mind to what I was capable of. At the time, I realized that female friendships were a big part of my support system. They told us in writing class to write about something that would sustain us for a year, so I decided to write about friendships between women.
While Being Kari centers around the narrative of how friendships between a group of women can be deeply nurturing, it also has a sub-theme of cross-cultural relationship difficulties, drawn from Loxton’s experience of being in a cross-cultural marriage. “Most early novels are somewhat autobiographical. I am married to an Afrikaans and come from a Muslim family. The idea of two cultures meeting was part of the inspiration for the first book,” she says. And so, like Loxton, Kari comes from a Muslim family. When she marries Dirk, a 38-year-old Afrikaans lawyer, her family breaks ties with her. But on Valentine’s Day, in an explosive plot, Dirk tells Kari that he cheated on her. Distraught, Kari returns to her family’s fold, forcing her to struggle to rekindle her relationship with her mother and brother.
Loxton hadn’t originally planned to write a series, but found that after finishing Being Kari, the characters were still “in my head”. “It grew organically from there. It’s pretentious to say that the women came to me with their stories, but that’s how it happened. I felt compelled to tell their stories, because they were each such strong characters to me, I felt compelled to write them,” she explains.
Be Lily was published in 2018 and at that time writing new chapters of the series was a kind of escapism: “The books have been with me in very difficult times. They were a bit of an escape that way, they fed me and kept me going,” Loxton notes.
Be Lily is the story of confident and “together” Dr. Lily De Angelo, who is about to marry Owen Fisher. They plan to sail into the proverbial sunset with a solid agreement between them that they won’t have children. Then Owen’s ex, Courtney, shows up on Valentine’s Day with her daughter, Chiara; they have no place to stay, so they have to move in with Owen and Lily. The penny falls as Owen could be Chiara’s father.
Two years later Be Lily, Be Shelley, which follows the story of 40-year-old Shelley Jacobsen, is out. In this “episode”, Shelley’s life with her husband, Jerry, is mundane and predictable; she loves Jerry, but when she meets 22-year-old Wayde Smith, she is intrigued. Shelley hires Wayde to work in her cafe and decorating shop, because, well, why not? Until things heat up and the chemistry between them suddenly accidentally causes Shelley’s dress to fall off. (Spoiler alert: this really happens, and it’s definitely a highlight!)
Being Diana, the last book in the series, was a confined baby. “Writing Being Diana in confinement saved me. I struggled not to have contact with people and I was afraid that my family would get sick. I got up early and wrote, that was what kept me sane. Writing the book made me feel like I was in a different reality, a reality I had control over. It felt like something that belonged only to me and it gave me a sense of freedom, a safe space where I could pull myself in,” she recalls.
The idea for Being Diana was inspired by a conversation in a school WhatsApp group when parents were talking about appropriate topics for children. Loxton explains: “It struck me that as parents we watch over our children and we have this disconnect with them – their lived reality is not the same as ours. More and more, parents are unable to talk about the issues that matter. Dianne is bisexual, but she couldn’t come out to her family. I wanted to have a character who learns through his children – based on my own experience of learning through my children.
Being Diana deals with issues of racism, identity and sexual orientation. It is a commentary on diversity and acceptance of others. “I’m not an activist in the sense that I’m not confrontational, but I express my way of experiencing the world through what I write. I’m not the person who will broadcast a message with a loudspeaker, but writing is a way to express my opinions. Sometimes laughter is a mechanism for expressing what is real. When someone yells at me, I can’t hear. But when someone takes me in a less guarded moment, it has a bigger impact.
Thus, all the books of To be the series are skillfully crafted to address social issues. Humor is used as a way to open up our biases as a society, and Loxton’s writing plants seeds to help readers reflect on important topics. “The only way to develop empathy is to see the magic of the diversity of our country and our city. You don’t have to travel very far here to see something completely different from what you know. I also wanted to write for my generation. A lot of people from my generation struggle with those who are growing up now – they have a different view of the world, especially when it comes to gender and identity. I wanted to bring the two worlds together, because I think the conversation needs to happen,” she says.
Loxton recently received the Philida Literary Award, established in memory of South African novelist, essayist and poet André Brink. The award recognizes writers who are consistent in publishing works of excellence. Loxton’s work is certainly worth watching. DM/ML
Related Articles
