This entrepreneur and author says inner happiness should be at the top of your list

To borrow from Aristotle, “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life – the goal and end of human existence”.

For author and entrepreneur Tia Graham, happiness is the secret sauce to thriving in business and in life.

After having her second daughter and returning to work as a sales and marketing manager at the London West Hollywood Hotel, she was not happy. “I was trying to balance my executive career, my motherhood, my marriage, my friendships, my physical health, my family and everything else. I felt like I was failing at all,” Graham says. “J I was stressed, overwhelmed, full of guilt, angry, sad and I felt stuck.”

While Graham, like many others, went through painful and difficult times in her life before returning to her childhood, at this time when she returned to work she was particularly unhappy. “I thought maybe this would be my new normal,” she shares. “I have always been a very positive and optimistic person and have made choices to increase my happiness and well-being. But the thought terrified me.

Being miserable impacted every aspect of Graham’s personal and professional life. At this low point, she began to pursue happiness and the science of happiness. She turned to Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, who taught the popular positive psychology course at Harvard University. Graham received a certificate in Happiness Studies and Happiness Education from the Happiness Studies Academy in Ben-Shahar. She earned a neuroscience certification from the Neuroscience School and is now a speaker and coach at the annual World Happiness Summit.

“My research in neuroscience and positive psychology has given me the scientific insight into why happiness is vital,” says Graham. “Happiness affects our longevity, our relationships, our motivation, our career and parenting success, our creativity, our productivity, etc. It connects to everything.

To that end, four years ago Graham made a major career pivot and founded his company Arrive At Happy. With a mission to inspire transformation through the science of happiness and neuroscience, Graham partners with organizations and leaders to grow their business through a happy and joyful culture.

This month, Graham launched his book, Be a Happy Leader: Stop Feeling Overwhelmed, Thrive Personally, and Achieve Stunning Business Results. The book delves into the struggle to feel overwhelmed and stressed. It offers actionable strategies on how to find consistent joy while staying motivated.

“The truth is that our happiness and creating a happy life is an inside job,” says Graham. “Human connection is the number one predictor of happiness, but there’s so much more to it, like being resilient, having a healthy relationship with difficult emotions, living with gratitude, constantly learning and growing, and giving and helping others. It takes efforts and making the continuous choice to choose to be happy.

Jeryl Brunner: Can you tell us more about the fact that money doesn’t make you happy?

Tia Graham: Research shows that wealthy people are happier than less wealthy people. But the degree is much smaller than most people think. Many very rich people are unhappy. Money alone cannot make you happy. What money provides is more choice and more time. How you spend your money also contributes to your well-being, such as spending on others or on experiences rather than material possessions. There is an interesting phenomenon called “The Hedonic Treadmill” by Dr. Martin Seligman. His research shows that once we earn a decent living and all our needs are met, a new car or an expensive handbag, for example, will give us a “happy high” for only three to four months. And then we come back to our resting level of happiness.

Brunner: You write that there are misconceptions about what makes us happy. What are some of these myths?

Graham: There’s a myth that if you’re famous, you’ll be happier. Another is that when you acquire new material possessions, you will be happier. Research shows that, on average, fame makes us less happy. Another myth is that if you are successful and have a good title, it will make you happy. Another could be that if you find the love of your life, you will be happy.

Brunner: What inspired you to write Be A Happy Leader?

Graham: I worked as a sales and marketing manager in the luxury hotel industry for 14 years in Hawaii, New York, Istanbul and Los Angeles. During this time, I was exposed to motivating and fantastic leaders. I also experienced the exact opposite. I was propelled into a leadership position at 26 and have always viewed leadership as an honor and a great responsibility. I pride myself on being a very positive, supportive and collaborative leader and have built connected, loyal and high performing sales teams.

Over the past five years running my business, Arrive At Happy, I have earned certification in Positive Psychology and Applied Neuroscience. I created an eight-step methodology for being a happy leader combining my experience and research. There is a huge amount of proven and practical tools that anyone can use right away. I knew that I would not be able to reach everyone in the world with my conferences and my leadership programs. My goal is to motivate and educate as many people as possible.